With the kids

Today was my first full day with the kids.  We played with blocks, began learning to write names with the older children, and experimented with a duck puppet which “beaked” the children (right JT?).  It is a round, white puppet with duck legs, large eyes and a beak which the hand inside can open and close.  Monde one of the smaller kids who is probably two-and-a-half, literally ran screaming from the duck.  I tried to show the puppet giving smooches on the cheek to some of the other kids who didn’t seem to mind, but when I tried with Monde a blood-curdling scream rose from the depths of his little body.  I hope he doesn’t have nightmares because of me :(

I am more comfortable with the children than I have been.  I actually prefer to be with them rather than in the kitchen on some days, and I was really happy to get some pictures of their adorable faces today.  The last meeting we had with our social work professor, Natalie, she asked if we were having any attachment problems, and at that point we painted most of the time, so we assured her that everything was fine.  She asks about attachment to address new published research concerning temporary service with abandoned children.  New research shows that volunteers building relationships with abandoned children for a short time and leaving enforces the notion that the children will be abandoned.  They learn not to trust because of the hurt they experience when a caring figure leaves. 

Culture for Bruce and Norma: Do no harm

After spending so much time with the kids this week, I have realized how hard it is to keep ones distance.  As I have said before, I try to view my role more as a child care provider than a big sister or loved one.  I have to resist holding the kids, cuddling them, or doing anything that might cause attachment.  One must truly be selfless, because the kids have so much love to give as well, and one cannot indulge in hugs, requests for, “Up!  Up!” or even relent to one child’s plea for special attention.  Our main goal must always be to cause no harm, but that is much easier said than done.

An article I recently read about TOMS shoes, by the prompting of Chris Morgan and Michelle Ruppert, raised my awareness even further that good intentions aren’t always enough.  TOMS shoes is a BOGO (buy one, get one) shoe company.  One orders shoes online for $50 and receives one pair of shoes and another pair goes to a child without shoes in a foreign country. As of late they are under lots of fire for “dumping.”  They give shoes to communities without really solving problems.  Children have a temporary solution, but there is no effort made to remedy the cause of shoelessness.  TOMS also under-cuts local shoe sellers, because, inevitably shoes are available in these areas, but people cannot afford them.  By “dumping” free shoes, the receiver is not empowered to find a way to get their own shoes, and will be out of shoes soon enough with they wear out or the feet grow too big, and sellers in the area miss out on a potential sale.  TOMS is also a way for consumer culture to feel better about purchasing.  Although it may feel good for a pair of shoes to go to charity, TOMS isn’t really solving a problem, rather, the true sales pitch is that the consumer gets to feel good about the purchase.  This may seem harsh, but they are valid points.  You can read more at http://aidwatchers.com/2010/11/a-tryst-with-toms/ .  

I only covered a few of the criticisms.  But, we ask ourselves questions such as are we creating dependency?  Are we helping to create a sustainable solution?  Is this what the community wants? When we think about spending money or “doing service” at our service sites.  I think these are important things to know in order to do no harm.

The older kids getting ready to learn to write their names

Monde slapping around a paint brush

Iby checking out the camera in his own way :)

Kitha (Kee-tah) checking out the spelling and getting ready to write.

Linati after some successful learning

Lisa giving a great facial in conjunction with her great handy work

Kitha's M's

Linati being shy with his work and Kuhle (Koo-lay) checking over his shoulder

Cedriano and Isi playing with trucks.  Sibu on Mel's lap and Tylo watching the action

Making his surprised noise- ooooohh.

SMILES!

The rare smile from Cedriano, aka Cedi

Letters on the board during free time.  Kitha, Yonela, and Iby

Sibu being crazy

The kids gathering around the donations box which they painted for yesterday.  It's beautiful!

Striking a pose.... ha

Desiree and Nolethu (No-lay-too). Cuties

"Bread" or snack time.  Nolethu carried a part of her sandwich around the rest of the time I was there.  She wanted to hold my hand, too.  It was special ;P

Kuhle presiding over the table as usual

Monde giving me funny eyes, but he looked away before my slow camera captured the shot.

Isi  :)

Tell me he's not cute.

Kitha showing his true colors, ha.