Conviviality Wanted

I have a sad story for all of you today.  I eat alone.  For breakfast, I grab something and eat on my bed while waking up or revving up my computer.  Lunch is usually spent reading for a class, writing a reflection paper, or writing emails on my bed with a sandwich or salad.  Dinner is eaten at the table if there is room, but I always have a book or some kind of work.  Our table is against a wall, so we only have three chairs.  All of us buy and cook our own food and eat at different times.  Thus, I am a loner.  I am lacking one of the most important parts of a meal *conviviality*.  Conviviality is the enjoyment of food with company.  Most people can agree that eating alone does not have the same feeling as eating with others.  Company adds a whole different dimension to meals which is healthy.  We eat slower to converse, laugh to aid in digestion, and join with our community for at least one reason, to eat.  Conner Middleman Whitney’s blog called Nourish found on the journal Psychology Now’s website speaks of the need for conviviality in a post titled “Conviviality Now! Family feasts for body and soul” He wrote:

The word ‘convivial' derives from Latin, where it means quite simply ‘the act of living together.' We are drawn to conviviality by our need for safety, companionship and comfort. But in today's hyper-efficient, fast-paced world, we often sacrifice that which made us human - our fundamental need for food - and the communality that was born of this need. Instead, we rush from one task to the next and eating becomes just another chore to be slotted into our busy schedules. (21 May 2010)

According to Whitney, conviviality has implications for health, too.

Sociologists have compared habits of conviviality in Mediterranean and Anglo-Saxon countries and their results make fascinating reading. In an international survey of people's attitudes to food and eating, respondents were asked to describe what, to them, constituted a ‘healthy diet' (Fischler C, Masson E. Manger - Français, Européens et Américains face à l'alimentation. Odile Jacob (Paris), 2008).

Whereas primary health-concerns for the Americans and Britons surveyed touched on scientific concepts such as 'proteins,' ‘carbohydrates' and ‘fat,' Italian and French respondents overwhelmingly focused on the notion of pleasure.

There was also a great divergence in respondents' attitudes to conviviality: when asked what constitutes a healthy diet, French and French-speaking Swiss participants spoke spontaneously of ‘family meals' or ‘eating with friends.' In the French-speaking focus group, the word ‘family' came up 39 times, ‘friends' 51 times, ‘convivial' 72 times and ‘sharing' 38 times.

This is in striking contrast with the Anglophone groups, where ‘family' was mentioned eight times, ‘friends' four times and ‘sharing' only three times. Lastly, while Anglophones and Germans valued ‘conviviality' on special occasions, the French, in particular, said they treasured conviviality as an ordinary, day-to-day event. (21 May 2010)

I can see the weaknesses of eating alone, because I eat very fast and distractedly.  So, I often end up making more and having more food than I would have if I was with others, sitting at a table, and taking more time.  When I began to notice the trouble, I suggested buying food as a group and eating together, but my flatmates insisted that we each have varied palates and it would be too difficult to accommodate everyone in one meal.  

Although I’m not prepared to push the issue more, I have learned a valuable lesson.  Regardless of the Calories, protein, fat, carbs etc of a meal, I will do my best to value any meal eaten with friends or family.  Nutrition profs have told me time and again to enjoy food and avoid eating on the run.  I have ignored those suggestions with the excuse of being too busy, but I have a feeling that next year, my priorities will be a bit different.  I will aim to eat at a table with others and have some control over my schedule rather than letting the schedule control me.

Thank you all for reading, and I would be happy to engage in conviviality over a meal with any of my readers upon my return to the states.  Oh, how I wish I had it here!

If you’d like to check out the rest of the blog post you can visit: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/nourish/201005/conviviality-now .  Whitney has a lot of good things to say.